29 - Big Stuff

This weather, I swear. It has no idea what it’s doing. New Zealand was hot. Then, Kobe was cold. After a few weeks, Kobe was warm again. Yesterday it snowed. Then it was spring. Now it’s snowing again. In the UK, at least, you can expect that when weather doesn’t know if it wants to be snowy or sunny it sorta overcasts out into a dreary, smudgy blend of all possible weathers that ends up being none at all. Here in Kobe, the weather’s more like a terribly enthusiastic intern who is caught between two opposed choices - putting all his energy into one choice, before changing his mind and firing all that energy in the other direction. Madness. And the nights are ridiculous. Last night I could barely sleep for all the cold. The heater above the window did nothing; all that hot air couldn’t penetrate the lower levels of icy atmosphere above my futon, and I got none of it. If it’s not one thing taking my sleep from me, it’s another. And that one thing is wedding plans.

Now, prepare yourselves. I’m needing to go through the biggest Christian holiday of the year, followed by the biggest event in my little brother’s life, and also catch you up on what’s been happening Kobe-side. So get that coffee on, and let’s do this.

Christmas this year took place in Washington, with the Bradleys. As part of the second loop of our ‘one year in England and then one year in the US’ system, I was looking forward to going back. The flight was… not worth the words. Not great, is what I’m saying. But eventually we got our way into SeaTac and we were home free. Urgh, or so I thought. First I had to pass out from terror for the second time in my life. I’m a natural worrier, and also a bit of a coward. But America, come on. Do you pick ex-Marines for your border inspectors, or FBI interrogation staff? Either way, they’re terrifying. And I say that having every right to be in your country, having paid the fourteen dollars to wave the visa aside and stroll on in. But here’s the thing that went round and round my brain as I stood in the queue to be judged and branded by US Immigration: if I didn’t see anything on the ESTA website about needing to print off my visa waiver form, then why is everybody holding just that? Everybody! Is this something they’re all doing because they’re over-cautious? Or is it my fault? Oh, that’s more likely, huh. Geez, way more likely! And now I’m going to be shouted at and deported, aren’t I? Steph’ll be upset and her parents will be disappointed and probably won’t let me marry her anymore and there’ll probably be some kind of suspected terrorism charge and an probe of some kind before I get back on th-… oh, nuts, that flight was looooong and now I have to do it all again and how am I going to get to my seat because I can’t feel my legs.

Turns out I was right the first time, and I didn’t need that form at all. But it almost didn’t save me because by the time I wobbled up to the desk and handed in my passport I was seeing stars, and my lips had gone all numb for some reason and I was having difficulty enunciating. When I explained that no, I wasn’t flying alone, but my fiancé was a US national and used the other queue, I mumbled so bad the guy leaned over, fixed me with a killer stare and said, ‘Excuse me?’, in that way you hear American actors say it when you’ve just told them you slept with their mother and they’re contemplating how to maim you.

Whatever. It’s over, and somehow, by the grace of God, I got in. First thing to do in the US: go out and order more food than you’re gonna eat. Especially considering the absence of decent food on the plane, but I said I wouldn’t mention that. Lunch was pizza, and fine pizza it was too. Also root beer off the tap, which is something I’ve only recently realized I very much like. We didn’t do a whole lot that night. Actually, a great deal of my time in Seattle was spent catching my breath after a turbulent term of work. Of course there was the usual sort of going home stuff. Trips to the supermarket for things we can’t get in Japan. Watching movies that won’t come out in Kobe for many months. Like the second Hobbit movie. I swear they could have put the whole book’s worth of stuff into a single film if they’d tried, rather than having to fluff out three from the same story. I mean, I didn’t remember much of the book when the films first came out, being some fourteen or fifteen years in the past. But I did remember the characters having a lot more charm than they ended up having in the movie. Bilbo, for example. I thought The Hobbit was supposed to be about him. Apparently it’s about Legolas. Hm, at end of the day I didn’t much care. It was an entertaining day out, especially when bookended by Mexican food.

Tell you what, this far along I’m struggling to remember exactly what we did in what order in the US. And I refuse to take all the blame, as Marsha insisted I finish two packs of Strongbow during my time there (I did) and as a result a lot of my time was spent a little more merry than usual. Steph had a lot of work to do while she had the chance. Things like filling out forms, sending and receiving money, posting packages. So a lot of my time was spent keeping her sane by way of enlightening conversation. Something I can supply whilst playing video games. Having Marsha and Jess around, both avid Skyrim players at the moment, made for some excellent conversations as I made my own way across the icy north, and Steph was eager to share opinions about things like Starbound, which we play together. Ace game, that. Lots of potential.

But I can tell you about Christmas. As it should be. Rather than taking the long trip to one of the local county churches in the morning, we decided to go to an evening service on Christmas Eve, and ended up at, uh, Bethany… Something Something Church. Bethany like the charity, I believe. Big place, and with some serious technology behind them. The whole building was done up in a sort of Grecian elegance that didn’t come close to being gaudy or overly audacious, and there were some cool lights in there too. They had a massive screen for song words, and they seemed eager to show it off as often as they could. There must have been ten or so video clips used in the sermon, and some of them weren’t especially necessary. One of them, the folk around me whispered excitedly, used the voice of Morgan Freeman, but I don’t think it was him. Still, a good service. The kids all sat at the front while one of the leaders told the Christmas story in all its childish simplicity, and praised them heavily when they got any little bit of detail right. And the songs were good, despite a limited music group, and despite America’s inability to get certain tunes right. Oh, and while I’m on the subject, it’s pretty jarring to hear some preachers in the US pronounce it ‘sayv-yOR’, like it’s the name of some evil space emperor. Bah, hum-bug.

Next day was Christmas, and in all honesty we did very little. Steph and I were still wracked by jet lag, and I was awoken at 10.30 feeling like I was melting into the carpet. Huge thanks to those who contributed to the Pete is Spoilt Fund. Those who gave money may be happy to know it’s going right in the wedding fund, so if you come along to the big event (and you better RSVP soon, you lazy louts) you’ll essentially be getting your money back again as alcohol. And the games! Games like you wouldn’t believe! I was playing Skyrim, a notoriously long game, before the Christmas rush came in, but now I have more games than I’ll be able to play before this year ends, I reckon. Wolf Among Us and Walking Dead 2 are done for now, with the next in the series of chapters due to be downloaded straight to my computer some time in the next couple of months, but I’ve barely scratched the surface of a lot of them. Steph got me Lego Marvel, which we’re playing together and is shaping up to be awesome. Can’t at this point say it’s an improvement over Lego Lord of the Rings, but we’re not even half way yet. And Both of us received these portable charging devices, which I don’t use as often as I could but still continues to be exceedingly useful. Oh, and clothes. I must be growing up if I requested clothes for Christmas, eh? Socks in their multitudes, and sweaters and all sorts.

The last few days in Seattle were equally relaxing. Watched Fifth Element for the first time in must be five years, and cooked food, and I bought some electronics with my excess hundred dollar bill that I’d brought as travel money. The poor cashier’s face when I showed it to him. Easy to forget that Japan’s an exception for being so free with its cash. But yeah, eventually the day came to head down to New Zealand, and we strolled into the airport again.

I shan’t yet again write down the trials of international flight we experienced, as I’m positively sick of thinking about it. Short version: no food and no sleep makes Pete an angry boy. Still, when we arrived in Auckland we were pleased to see that all of our faculties were still lodged in place, and so continued our little sunny winter holiday.

I want to get this off my chest from the very beginning. I’m sure most New Zealanders are sick of all the Lord of the Rings stuff by now, and I can sympathise. We’ve got Harry Potter and Doctor Who, and all the PR baggage that comes with it, after all. But cheesy air safety videos, big statues of dwarves and one Shire-themed park aside, New Zealand, you sure don’t make it easy for yourselves. Flying out of Auckland, I was stunned to see other flights going to a place called Dunedin. The fact that I later learned that it’s pronounced ‘dun-ee-din’, and not like the fictitious, long-lived race of Men which is the slightly different ‘doon-uh-deyn’ changes little. It got my mind into Middle Earth. And that was only one thing. All your homes are bungalows. Y’know, squat little things with one storey and wide roofs and big kitchens and magic rings on the mantelpieces and oh no wait that’s hobbit holes but they’re just so similar! I really tried to appreciate NZ for what it was and not what was filmed in it, but sometimes it was just impossible.

We flew from Auckland to Christchurch, which was fine. Same sort of time as the East Midlands to Edinburgh flight I’ve taken many a time, so no problem. Met up with the parents at the airport, and drove the miniscule distance to the bungalow where we’d be staying. Christchurch is a fantastic city, and I think we both really loved it there, and one of the reasons why is that it’s so compact. Everything was very close, and there was plenty to do in the area. It was also quite warm out, though not the complete 180 we expected from hopping from cold north to hot south in such little time. We thought we were in the clear. We were wrong.

So, a lot of what we did in NZ for the first week surrounded, you guessed it, my brother’s wedding. I want this to be a testament to how stunning the whole event was, from early preparation to final goodbyes, but it does have to be from my own perspective, and I can’t talk about the run up to Andy’s wedding without being true to how I felt.

Alright, here it goes. Being involved in Andy’s wedding reminded me that my own was right around the corner. And the days I didn’t spend angrily stressed at how little time we had left, and how much had to be accomplished in that limited time, were often spent feeling intolerably alone. It’s insanity, I know, to feel lonely when I’m with my family when usually that isn’t possible, but that’s the truth of it. I think the reasoning was two-fold: First and foremost being that my wedding will take place in a country that sometimes I struggle to remember is my home. Everyone who’s coming, you are amazing, fantastic people, and as a part of my growing up I am honoured to share this event with you. But Kobe is my home, too. And sometimes it’s hard to remember that the second family that I built up here, made of friends and work colleagues and even the students, won’t be there to see it. Seeing Andy surrounded by old friends and new just brought that home, and it was difficult.

And then there’s Andy himself. And the second reason for why I felt so low, I think, is that that big group of friends that were with him through the genesis of his new life in NZ, and in the building up of who he is today, didn’t include me. I guess it’s like, um, hm. Trying to think of a comparison that doesn’t make me out to sound too self-important. But I guess it’s like putting some toast on the grill (that’s how we roll Japan-side), and then sitting down to boot up a game of Skyrim and… Ah, no, see this won’t work. Andy is not ‘burnt’, because that implies he is in some way broken. Quite the opposite. How about this: It’s like having a Pokemon in the Daycare Centre, and coming back after looping around the region and picking up a bunch of new badges, and now you have this Pokemon back in your life who’s the same Pokemon he always was, only now he knows some epic new maneuvers and his stat numbers are way up and could he always annihilate an Oddish with a single punch? and… You see what I’m saying? He’s still my brother and he always will be, but it feels like I blinked and missed him growing up, and that makes me sad. Now he’s a married man, can you believe that? He has a beautiful wife. He has a car, and a job. A job that’s not a glorified babysitting job for uni students who can’t move on, as JET sometimes feels. He is an independent and strong man. Am I that strong? I don’t feel it. And I have nobody to blame for not being there to see him grow but myself.

So let’s talk about this wedding, shall we? I’ve been beating around the bush long enough. And, while I’m mid-combo streak for embarrassing confessions, yes I did cry at my brother’s wedding. I’m not even sure why. I think it was a combination of the atmosphere, and having everyone else crying around me. Even my dad. That was weird. Not to sound negative or anything, but ‘dad’ and ‘emotional’ don’t often go together. But yes, I shall more than likely be crying at my own wedding also. Very much more than likely.

You’ve probably seen the pictures by now so I won’t go into detail about the ceremony and how it was set up. By a stroke of fortune that could almost be called miraculous, the perpetual overcastness opened up a just larger than wedding-sized hole that hung over the camp site for the duration of the event. In other words, it was stunning. And the nearby airport barely contributed any noise at all. I didn’t choke up on my Bible reading, despite, I think, it being as relevant for myself as for Andy and Nicky. Not too long, not too short. Perfect. Curse it all, but that’s gonna be a tough wedding to top.

The party that night was equally ace, despite confusing instructions to share my soup with the people around me. There were too many swee-… Ah, I mean ‘lollies’, don’t I? Well, whatever they were there were too many of them left over and now I’m fatter. Cheers, bro. As if Kobe City Hall breathing down my neck for what is apparently a drastically increased BMI wasn’t enough. It went down, for heaven’s sake! How is that a drastic increase?! Fat fears aside, the party really was excellent. Congratulations on all the speeches. I was impressed that the four speakers had four very different ways of telling their stories, and thus presented us with a wide spectrum of experiences. Phil’s practiced, comfortable style and Josh’s more intellectual approach, and Andy and Jazz’s more ‘go with the flow’ atmosphere. I’ve started work on my own speech, but I fear it may not be quite as good.

Ah, who am I kidding? As I will be mentioning on the day, life in a Japanese company has given me a lot of practice with giving speeches. I’m actually pretty confident. Dad’ll be another speaker, I think, which I’m also sure will be good. As for the undecided rest… we’ll have to see.

Saw a kiwi, too. Not at the wedding, you understand. Though I’ll admit to being fooled by a popular misconception that kiwis just come rolling out of the hedgerows like verminous balls of brown fur in NZ, which is of course not true. May as well say the same for badgers in the UK, if badgers were also a protected species. But we did see one, and it was close enough to touch. They’re big; I’d never realized! Bigger than footballs, almost like medicine balls! They were still cute, though, and the zoo we saw them at did a good job of making me want to protect them. Also, did you know certain eels live longer than humans? Madness.

After Andy and Nicky left for their honeymoon the whole city became considerably more lonely. And with mum and dad leaving not long after, Steph and I struggled with suddenly being alone in a country we weren’t that familiar with. We made do; we acclimatized ourselves with the Christchurch public transport service (which is on par with the UK’s and thus was a worrisome step down from Japan’s) and even took a day trip up to Lake Brunner near the west coast of the south island. It was very pretty, and the trip there on the train was awesome. But even though we were getting off ahead of the masses heading for a thirty minute stop-over in Greymouth (which, I’m told, is devoid of anything interesting), we still ended up having not a lot of time before the train returned and we hopped back on. Brunner was nice, though; we saw some very large plants. And that evening we found a superb vegetarian restaurant on the southern outskirts of the city. Absolutely brilliant food.

On the subject of food, I do have to express my sincerest joy at the state of NZ’s fish and chips. I mean, they’re not quite the same as what I’m used to, not quite as oily for one, but I would happily have eaten out every night if it wouldn’t have killed me, or earned me strange looks for the guy who worked at the local chippy. I was initially reluctant to choose my own type of fish, having only had the generic cod or haddock forced on my in the UK, but I actually did enjoy the chance to try different things. Hoki is nice, for example. Not too dry, like UK cod can be. We also reveled in the chance to get some falafel, which hasn’t made it to Japan yet. Excellent stuff.

Which brings us back around to Kobe, and the last couple of weeks in school. Nearly there, guys, nearly there. This time of year is a frantic one at school. No major days off, and the impending stresses of finals and graduation for third years, and the move on up for the elementary kids. Certainly after getting back I’ve found myself with next to no free time at school, and only now that mid-term tests are coming around do I actually have some time to plan ahead and get optional things like posters finished. It’s meant the time has shot by Monday to Friday, but I’ve been increasingly sleepy when I get home, and sometimes before. Almost fell asleep at my desk on a number of occasions. Haven’t done that since my first term. Today was a lot of marking papers, which is straightforward tedium. I’m often called on for marking, as I am apparently so good at it. I think being a native speaker who can spot mistakes very easily helps.

A few things leapt out during the term, though. We had our next SDC, which was relatively informative. The talks were good, and I learned a few things. Still, that place is too, too warm, and sick as I was it was very unpleasant. Yeah, I had a bit of a nasty cold since I got back, one that hung around for a couple of weeks. Not enough to skip school, just enough to make me miserable at every opportunity. It did the round of the ALT community, and some poor folk even came down with influenza, which is dropping kids like flies. Out of school temporarily, that is; nobody’s died. Having a cold was inconvenient for another reason, too, and that was because my OTE had arranged a big cross-school celebration in town for the wedding. Steph’s schools were invited, but I guess none of them could make it. Got a huge turn out, too, from all three of my schools. As far as I’m aware, this is one of the only times my junior high school has gone out drinking with its feeder schools, and as far as I could tell they all thoroughly enjoyed it. It was a posh Japanese restaurant, which doesn’t always bode well, and being still a bit sick I’d promised myself I’d take it easy on the beer. But in the end I didn’t have to worry. Not because the food was good (it was passable), but because I barely got a chance to try it. As soon as the festivities began we were hailed by one of the many teachers there that night, most of whom had never met Steph before, and began asking questions about wedding plans and life after JET and all the other stuff we’d been over a thousand times with a thousand different people. And I know that sounds bitter, but I wasn’t. In fact, everyone was genuinely intrigued that I couldn’t help but be flattered by all the attention. But yeah, we didn’t get much to eat or drink. There were speeches too. One elementary had a little presentation using flashcards about us. The other ended the night with some kind of honourary yelling competition, with the main shouter doing some sort of bullet time thing. Japanese culture, I am told. My junior high school principal, and one-time head of the Guidance Division of the Board of Education, gave a long and very sweet speech that ended up being less about me and Steph and more about ALTs in general. Even though it’s no longer her job, we are well represented by Shiba-sensei! All the teachers wrote a little card to say congratulations, and my OTE read his out for everyone. It included… some interesting advice about power struggles in marriages. ‘Contact me in ten years,’ he said. ‘You will tell me I was right.’ Steph and I gave our own speeches, which I think were well-received. At the end of the night, we all went home. A teacher’s daughter drove us.

Now, I’m reading that last bit back and I think it sounds a little blasé. I’m very tired, see. But my true feelings are anything but. I was absolutely bowled over by the incredible gestures of welcome that we received that night. I don’t even have the words for it. There have been many times in my three years on JET where I’ve felt all alone in the staff room, surrounded by folk who don’t even realize I exist. Doesn’t help when they forget my name. But that night was such a spectacular show of generosity, I can’t help but feel, as I said in my speech near the end of the evening, like Kobe is my second home, and the people I work with my second family. Through all the talks I have with my fellow teachers I’m starting to finally take to heart that they don’t mean to be distant. They’re busy, tired and nervous about talking to me, three traits which disappear when they have a bit to drink and reveal their true selves. That, I suppose, is the measure by which I should know them, not the sleepy, frantic, over-stressed people that rush past my desk and occasionally claim I’m from Australia. This is cultural exchange. This, I suppose, is JET.

And on that bombshell, time for me to take a nap. Not really, naps don’t do anything for me. But time to vegetate in front of the computer and romp across Tamriel for a few hours. The other night I had a bit too much to drink and now I’m a reluctant vampire. Can’t let my commander in the Dawnguard know, he’d have my head. Exciting stuff. Day off tomorrow! Woo-hoo!

Thanks for reading, everyone. This was a long one, and I appreciate your effort.