It’s
been a bit of a Pokéweek. Starting with all that news about the new
Pokémon for X and Y (out October counting the days), it seems like
the world is trying to remind me of why I’m here in Japan. And it’s
not for its burgeoning job market or charming insect life. As I may
say a little too often, I would probably not have come to Japan if it
weren’t for some guy’s bug-hunting fascination. Earlier this
month it was announced that video game apparel company Game King
would be making a set of t-shirts for the Pokémon Center featuring
the original starter Pokémon. I promised myself I wouldn’t fall
into the otaku trap of anime merchandising but this! This I
can allow!
Anyway,
with a trip to Osaka tentatively planned for Friday afternoon I can
add more fuel to the fire that is my love of Pokémon. In the
meantime, news has continued to spread of something called Pixelmon,
which is a Pokémon mod for Minecraft. There have been several in the
last year or so, but this one’s ace. Realistic sizes, real moves
and stats, EVs… A pity you seem to be able to put a Pokémon to
sleep while it’s poisoned and paralysed, and then freeze it. And
then burn it. They may have to work on that.
More
importantly, the mod has really opened the eyes of the public to some
of the key issues that are seldom explored in the Pokémon universe.
The most pressing of which is, if all animals in the world are
semi-intelligent monsters capable of free thought and fire breath,
then what exactly is that chicken-looking thing that Ash is eating?
Is it a Pidgey? Because I highly doubt Nintendo would approve of
that. And so, in Pixelmon, the hunt for food is your greatest
challenge in the beginning. Apples are rare, and crops like wheat
take time to grow. There’s no livestock to hunt, so you can’t
find meat. Fishing is a possibility still, but fishing rods require
string, which requires you to kill spiders, which no longer exist.
Well, defeating bug Pokémon occasionally drops string for you, which
is fine, but defeating Pokémon requires a Pokémon of your own. So,
if your brand new Bulbasaur, level 5, is set upon by a massive Arbok
on your first day, and is knocked out of commission, you’re
scuppered! You can’t heal Pokémon without a bed, which needs wool,
which needs you to be able to defeat Pokémon, or a healing table
which requires diamond and aluminum, of all things. Certainly not
easily accessible. So in the beginning the world is cruel, and it
takes long hours of searching (or some excellent luck) to get very
far.
On
Saturday, continuing the theme, Hanayama is hosting a Pokémon themed
scavenger hunt. It’s a little like one of those made in Heaven
situations you hear about, like being told you’ll be studying
Spirited Away in Japanese class for a semester, where the reality can
almost never live up to expectations. And, come on, a Pokémon
scavenger hunt? My expectations are pretty high. Fortunately I have
the utmost faith in the team preparing this event. I’m sure it’ll
be a blast, and you’ll all be hearing the blow-by-blow after the
day itself.
So
yeah. There’s Pokémon, and then there’s the rest of my life.
Picking
an example right out of the air, I had an endoscopy last weekend. A
first for me, believe it or not, and the strangest experience I have
ever undergone. It was the culmination of many weeks of doctor’s
visits, many of which were utterly pointless. I mean, let’s take
this from the beginning. I went to the doctor complaining of
localized, persistent stomach pains, enough that it was difficult to
sleep on my left side at night. The doctor told me it was probably
nothing, just a case of gastritis, and I should take the medicine he
proscribed and come back if the problems persist. Well, a week went
by, and the medicine helped. But then a second week went by and they
were back, worse than ever. I returned to the doctor to explain.
Unfortunately, the doctor I’d had before wasn’t around, and some
med student from Osaka sat in his place. He said there was little he
could do, not being pro like the other guy, so gave me a renewal on
the medicine and asked me to come back the next day, when he was in.
He’d give me an endoscopy, I was told. I should have seen the break
in those two statements, looking back. So far I’d spent about two
thousand on drugs, just over a tenner, which isn’t bad considering.
It was the next trip that irked me, when I turned up expecting to
undergo exploratory surgery (can it be called that?). Old Doc was
back, and said an endoscopy was the way. He then told me to come back
on Saturday, when he’d do it. Not right then, not like I’d been
psyching myself up for. Another long week of waiting. He then charged
me another 500 yen for his sweet time and sent me on my way. For
‘consultation charges’, the receipt says. Tch.
So,
the day itself. I went on in having not eaten anything the night
before, and strolled up to the office. They’d been expecting me,
and asked me to wait in this shadowy little corner of the waiting
room where it was cold and I was afraid (needlessly, I know). Steph
was there, which was a comfort, but it was honestly quite scary
waiting for all this to go down. Eventually, a very nice young man
comes out and takes my temperature and blood pressure. Seeing that
they were okay, he then sticks a thing in my arm which is linked up
to one of those portable drips you see really, really sick folk
tugging around in hospital dramas. He assured me that the clear
liquid going into my arm wasn’t going to do anything, which made me
wonder just what the point of it was, but that a flick of the switch
would change the input to something that would knock me out. I have
to drink this nasty Pocari Sweat thing that supposedly cleaned up my
innards ready for inspection, and then I’m off. Steph waits outside
while I lie down on this surgery bed thing, on my side, and get a
plastic thing put in my mouth so I don’t chomp down on the camera
in my sleep. There’s about a hundred and one bits of plastic being
passed around in front of me, and funny paper sheets being laid up on
my shoulders and under my head for some reason. Then I’m told I’ll
start to feel sleepy. It takes a little while, but before long I
realize everything feels a bit funny, like the reception between by
self and my body has taken a dip, and suddenly I’m waking up and
the whole thing’s over. Steph’s there next to me, and the
doctor’s smiling like I’d just done something really funny, which
if I had nobody’s told me about. It was also two hours later. Two
whole hours!
They
later explained that what’s wrong with me is an enflamed esophagus,
which is totally not the stomach cancer my paranoia thought it was.
Totally treatable, with a month’s regular medicine. I’m very glad
Steph was there for the explanation, because I do have a hard time
remembering what was happening. Like, I can’t tell what I saw and
what I dreamed. I’m fairly sure what I remember happened, but it’s
all foggy like a fake memory. I remember going home and eating beans
on toast, my reward for soldiering through a totally risk-free
operation, and I remember sitting at my computer. I remember trying
to play a free indie horror game I’d tried the night before and
been scared away from, and I remember finishing it, but did that
happen? Maybe I just deleted the thing out of fear. I also have weird
semi-memories of the things I saw in my own stomach, pinned up on the
doctor’s PC while he explained what was wrong. Something that
looked like a handful of pink snakes? Was that real, or just my
imagination?
Anyway,
I shook myself out of it eventually. And a good thing I did, as that
evening was the annual Kobe JET Scavenger Hunt. A big hat off to Team
enTOURage for a stellar performance running around Sannomiya. I will
remember chasing the Black Plague down that escalator for as long as
I live. It’s unlikely we won. I mean, my hypothesis for the
criminal was first class, amazing stuff. It came alive as you read
it. But unfortunately it was wrong, so it wasn’t that alive.
But it’s not about the winning. When it comes to running around
Sannomiya in dorky outfits, asking people who Sharpie’d their own
face whether they spoke any Jamaican, it is most certainly not about
the winning.
Things
at school carry on pretty much as normal. School trips have meant I
have a fair bit of free time at my desk, allowing for pre-planning of
some of the other things I’ll be doing this year. ICPs… Urgh… I
have a killer ICP plan, but let’s just not talk about that until my
principal is sure she wants it done. Also got a chance to go see my
elementary school sports day a couple of weeks ago, which was
excellent. It was interesting seeing the older kids marching around
all serious as they will eventually do in middle school, and seeing
that seriousness devolve steadily down the years until you see the
youngest lot hopping onto the pitch like frogs. Also the fifth year
homeroom teacher dressed as Doraemon was something to behold. That is
a man without shame. It was also great to see some of my middle
schoolers outside of a school environment. About a fifty-fifty split
between those who were so cool for school they pretended like I
wasn’t there, and those who thought the idea of me in shorts was
the funniest thing in the universe. Cute, either way. And I tell you,
sports days in the UK cannot match up. The kids were rolling giant
balls around, class v class tug of war with over eighty students on a
single rope. And some of the most dangerous clambering around on top
of other people I have ever seen, and I understand it was pretty tame
compared to some schools. I was surprised a few days later when I was
talking with the principal of the other elementary, and she
asked “How long did you stay?” “The whole thing,” I replied,
and she reacted like I’d told her I’d fought in a war. “Well
done,” she said. “That can’t have been easy.” Well, I quite
like the praise so I shut my mouth about how it wasn’t that bad.
Wasn’t that bad. It was a very early start, and I did feel
dead by the end. But not that bad.
Back
to games. Playing a lot of Tomodachi Collection lately. Pete and
Steph got married and now have a son with a humongous forehead. I
also learnt that couples can split up (and it was so traumatic that
it’s become hard to look some people, real people, in the eye), and
also that you can arrange couples together by recommending them as a
couple of a meddlesome friend. So don’t worry, mum and dad, there’s
hope for you yet! Also been playing more of Lord of the Rings with
Steph. Hit level 30 recently, which means I’m hardcore. Ace game,
that, easily the best MMO I’ve ever played.
Ah,
yes, E3 just around the corner now. Real excited this year. Last year
I wasn’t fussed, but this year I’m expecting some big news. Super
Smash, maybe? Please? And I’ll drink up anything about Saints Row
IV I can find. I was skeptical after their rather pointless release
trailer earlier in the year, but the latest one just blew me away.
It’s perfect. I’d watch it every day if that wasn’t a bit
obsessive. Preordered it not long later, which apparently gets me a
jet plane shaped like an eagle.
Last
Game of Thrones tonight. That last episode damaged me somewhere deep
inside, but I think I’m ready to face the conclusion now. Really
looking forward to it, this season’s been amazing. Excited to see
how it all ends. Also eating up series 6 of Buffy like it’s going
out of style. (As opposed to the reality, which is that it went out
of style a long time ago.) The villains this time around are easily
my favourites, for obvious reasons, though we’ll have to see if
they can keep up the charm.
Right,
I’m out. Thanks for reading.
