Aside - All of us are lost (1)

I spent my first night sleeping on some scaffolding around an industrial chimney. Not the most comfortable of sleeping arrangements, I won't lie, but it kept them out. I later learnt that they can climb, but I slept in blissful ignorance that first night. No bullets, but enough food and water. 'Just stay out of the way', I told myself, 'and everything will be alright.'

I sometimes wonder if I'm going mad. Not even a day on the island, and going mad; whatever will become of me... But it's happening to all of us. From my point atop the chimney, I happened to see two survivors argue over a tent of medical supplies. They killed each other. And the others ate what was left. And I just sat and watched. No bullets to defend either of them, I tell myself. I think I was scared, though, in reality. Scared that they would turn on me. So I kept my head down, and am still alive to talk about it.

I barricaded myself in a corner shop later today. And it was well I did. Happened upon a rifle, the sort of caliber I'd never even seen before coming here. I've gotten quite good, took the heads off a couple of others that came through the barricade. Only takes the one shot. Clean and simple. I do hope this won't desensitise me; after that there'll be little left of my humanity.

Maybe it was that fear that forced me to call out to the man I saw from the top of the air control tower. He waved at me, seemed scared of the range on my weapon - he only had a small pistol. I waved back, after mustering up the courage. He tried to get across the airfield, but was lunged at by a whole crowd of the dead. I fired a shot, it went wild (I'm still working on that), but it was enough to draw them away. I think I heard a call of thanks as I began to carve a path through the herd, but the man was gone when I made my way off the airstrip. So were half my bullets. But I don't regret it. I can't. It's what's keeping me sane, I think.

Tonight I'm sleeping in an abandoned warehouse. Cold beans for dinner, washed down with a can of Cola I found lodged under a broken car engine. It's amazing what treasures you can find, if only you take the time to look. Still no bullets. I was sharing this place with a dead man earlier, a dead dead man. Real dead. I tried to give him the best burial I could, but a dumping in the ocean isn't much. I wished him well on his way to a better place as I pocketed his switchblade and binoculars.

The sunset really is beautiful. The hollers and screeches of the dead lessen that image a bit, but it's there. You just have to look. Tomorrow will be a new day. I will hold on to what I see.


(And I'm well enjoying DayZ. Send me a line if you play, maybe we could meet up!)