23 - Running Theme

It’s been a bit of a Pokéweek. Starting with all that news about the new Pokémon for X and Y (out October counting the days), it seems like the world is trying to remind me of why I’m here in Japan. And it’s not for its burgeoning job market or charming insect life. As I may say a little too often, I would probably not have come to Japan if it weren’t for some guy’s bug-hunting fascination. Earlier this month it was announced that video game apparel company Game King would be making a set of t-shirts for the Pokémon Center featuring the original starter Pokémon. I promised myself I wouldn’t fall into the otaku trap of anime merchandising but this! This I can allow!

Anyway, with a trip to Osaka tentatively planned for Friday afternoon I can add more fuel to the fire that is my love of Pokémon. In the meantime, news has continued to spread of something called Pixelmon, which is a Pokémon mod for Minecraft. There have been several in the last year or so, but this one’s ace. Realistic sizes, real moves and stats, EVs… A pity you seem to be able to put a Pokémon to sleep while it’s poisoned and paralysed, and then freeze it. And then burn it. They may have to work on that.

More importantly, the mod has really opened the eyes of the public to some of the key issues that are seldom explored in the Pokémon universe. The most pressing of which is, if all animals in the world are semi-intelligent monsters capable of free thought and fire breath, then what exactly is that chicken-looking thing that Ash is eating? Is it a Pidgey? Because I highly doubt Nintendo would approve of that. And so, in Pixelmon, the hunt for food is your greatest challenge in the beginning. Apples are rare, and crops like wheat take time to grow. There’s no livestock to hunt, so you can’t find meat. Fishing is a possibility still, but fishing rods require string, which requires you to kill spiders, which no longer exist. Well, defeating bug Pokémon occasionally drops string for you, which is fine, but defeating Pokémon requires a Pokémon of your own. So, if your brand new Bulbasaur, level 5, is set upon by a massive Arbok on your first day, and is knocked out of commission, you’re scuppered! You can’t heal Pokémon without a bed, which needs wool, which needs you to be able to defeat Pokémon, or a healing table which requires diamond and aluminum, of all things. Certainly not easily accessible. So in the beginning the world is cruel, and it takes long hours of searching (or some excellent luck) to get very far.

On Saturday, continuing the theme, Hanayama is hosting a Pokémon themed scavenger hunt. It’s a little like one of those made in Heaven situations you hear about, like being told you’ll be studying Spirited Away in Japanese class for a semester, where the reality can almost never live up to expectations. And, come on, a Pokémon scavenger hunt? My expectations are pretty high. Fortunately I have the utmost faith in the team preparing this event. I’m sure it’ll be a blast, and you’ll all be hearing the blow-by-blow after the day itself.

So yeah. There’s Pokémon, and then there’s the rest of my life.

Picking an example right out of the air, I had an endoscopy last weekend. A first for me, believe it or not, and the strangest experience I have ever undergone. It was the culmination of many weeks of doctor’s visits, many of which were utterly pointless. I mean, let’s take this from the beginning. I went to the doctor complaining of localized, persistent stomach pains, enough that it was difficult to sleep on my left side at night. The doctor told me it was probably nothing, just a case of gastritis, and I should take the medicine he proscribed and come back if the problems persist. Well, a week went by, and the medicine helped. But then a second week went by and they were back, worse than ever. I returned to the doctor to explain. Unfortunately, the doctor I’d had before wasn’t around, and some med student from Osaka sat in his place. He said there was little he could do, not being pro like the other guy, so gave me a renewal on the medicine and asked me to come back the next day, when he was in. He’d give me an endoscopy, I was told. I should have seen the break in those two statements, looking back. So far I’d spent about two thousand on drugs, just over a tenner, which isn’t bad considering. It was the next trip that irked me, when I turned up expecting to undergo exploratory surgery (can it be called that?). Old Doc was back, and said an endoscopy was the way. He then told me to come back on Saturday, when he’d do it. Not right then, not like I’d been psyching myself up for. Another long week of waiting. He then charged me another 500 yen for his sweet time and sent me on my way. For ‘consultation charges’, the receipt says. Tch.

So, the day itself. I went on in having not eaten anything the night before, and strolled up to the office. They’d been expecting me, and asked me to wait in this shadowy little corner of the waiting room where it was cold and I was afraid (needlessly, I know). Steph was there, which was a comfort, but it was honestly quite scary waiting for all this to go down. Eventually, a very nice young man comes out and takes my temperature and blood pressure. Seeing that they were okay, he then sticks a thing in my arm which is linked up to one of those portable drips you see really, really sick folk tugging around in hospital dramas. He assured me that the clear liquid going into my arm wasn’t going to do anything, which made me wonder just what the point of it was, but that a flick of the switch would change the input to something that would knock me out. I have to drink this nasty Pocari Sweat thing that supposedly cleaned up my innards ready for inspection, and then I’m off. Steph waits outside while I lie down on this surgery bed thing, on my side, and get a plastic thing put in my mouth so I don’t chomp down on the camera in my sleep. There’s about a hundred and one bits of plastic being passed around in front of me, and funny paper sheets being laid up on my shoulders and under my head for some reason. Then I’m told I’ll start to feel sleepy. It takes a little while, but before long I realize everything feels a bit funny, like the reception between by self and my body has taken a dip, and suddenly I’m waking up and the whole thing’s over. Steph’s there next to me, and the doctor’s smiling like I’d just done something really funny, which if I had nobody’s told me about. It was also two hours later. Two whole hours!

They later explained that what’s wrong with me is an enflamed esophagus, which is totally not the stomach cancer my paranoia thought it was. Totally treatable, with a month’s regular medicine. I’m very glad Steph was there for the explanation, because I do have a hard time remembering what was happening. Like, I can’t tell what I saw and what I dreamed. I’m fairly sure what I remember happened, but it’s all foggy like a fake memory. I remember going home and eating beans on toast, my reward for soldiering through a totally risk-free operation, and I remember sitting at my computer. I remember trying to play a free indie horror game I’d tried the night before and been scared away from, and I remember finishing it, but did that happen? Maybe I just deleted the thing out of fear. I also have weird semi-memories of the things I saw in my own stomach, pinned up on the doctor’s PC while he explained what was wrong. Something that looked like a handful of pink snakes? Was that real, or just my imagination?

Anyway, I shook myself out of it eventually. And a good thing I did, as that evening was the annual Kobe JET Scavenger Hunt. A big hat off to Team enTOURage for a stellar performance running around Sannomiya. I will remember chasing the Black Plague down that escalator for as long as I live. It’s unlikely we won. I mean, my hypothesis for the criminal was first class, amazing stuff. It came alive as you read it. But unfortunately it was wrong, so it wasn’t that alive. But it’s not about the winning. When it comes to running around Sannomiya in dorky outfits, asking people who Sharpie’d their own face whether they spoke any Jamaican, it is most certainly not about the winning.

Things at school carry on pretty much as normal. School trips have meant I have a fair bit of free time at my desk, allowing for pre-planning of some of the other things I’ll be doing this year. ICPs… Urgh… I have a killer ICP plan, but let’s just not talk about that until my principal is sure she wants it done. Also got a chance to go see my elementary school sports day a couple of weeks ago, which was excellent. It was interesting seeing the older kids marching around all serious as they will eventually do in middle school, and seeing that seriousness devolve steadily down the years until you see the youngest lot hopping onto the pitch like frogs. Also the fifth year homeroom teacher dressed as Doraemon was something to behold. That is a man without shame. It was also great to see some of my middle schoolers outside of a school environment. About a fifty-fifty split between those who were so cool for school they pretended like I wasn’t there, and those who thought the idea of me in shorts was the funniest thing in the universe. Cute, either way. And I tell you, sports days in the UK cannot match up. The kids were rolling giant balls around, class v class tug of war with over eighty students on a single rope. And some of the most dangerous clambering around on top of other people I have ever seen, and I understand it was pretty tame compared to some schools. I was surprised a few days later when I was talking with the principal of the other elementary, and she asked “How long did you stay?” “The whole thing,” I replied, and she reacted like I’d told her I’d fought in a war. “Well done,” she said. “That can’t have been easy.” Well, I quite like the praise so I shut my mouth about how it wasn’t that bad. Wasn’t that bad. It was a very early start, and I did feel dead by the end. But not that bad.

Back to games. Playing a lot of Tomodachi Collection lately. Pete and Steph got married and now have a son with a humongous forehead. I also learnt that couples can split up (and it was so traumatic that it’s become hard to look some people, real people, in the eye), and also that you can arrange couples together by recommending them as a couple of a meddlesome friend. So don’t worry, mum and dad, there’s hope for you yet! Also been playing more of Lord of the Rings with Steph. Hit level 30 recently, which means I’m hardcore. Ace game, that, easily the best MMO I’ve ever played.

Ah, yes, E3 just around the corner now. Real excited this year. Last year I wasn’t fussed, but this year I’m expecting some big news. Super Smash, maybe? Please? And I’ll drink up anything about Saints Row IV I can find. I was skeptical after their rather pointless release trailer earlier in the year, but the latest one just blew me away. It’s perfect. I’d watch it every day if that wasn’t a bit obsessive. Preordered it not long later, which apparently gets me a jet plane shaped like an eagle.

Last Game of Thrones tonight. That last episode damaged me somewhere deep inside, but I think I’m ready to face the conclusion now. Really looking forward to it, this season’s been amazing. Excited to see how it all ends. Also eating up series 6 of Buffy like it’s going out of style. (As opposed to the reality, which is that it went out of style a long time ago.) The villains this time around are easily my favourites, for obvious reasons, though we’ll have to see if they can keep up the charm.

Right, I’m out. Thanks for reading.