26 - Tai'shar England

There goes Summer. It’s about time we got a bit of breeze back in Hanayama. Still, the hot season keeps holding on with its burny tendrils, making the odd hot streak during the day and the occasional tropical storm. Nothing to cancel school, unfortunately, but enough to be reminiscent of not-Autumn. Summer means Sports Day here in Kobe, which went off once again without a hitch, though I’ve been needing to wear my sleeves a bit longer since then on account of the very obvious redness on my lower arm. My arms look like Pokeballs.

Yep, there it is. Can’t hold it in any longer. Pokemon XY comes out tomorrow and I am just THE most excited. Tonight’s gonna be a tough one to sleep through, but at least there’s an early start on the cards. The plan is to get into town around 9, grab a coffee at Tully’s and then hit what I’m sure will be a fairly lengthy queue at Labi for its opening at 10. Steph’s probably not going to come along, which is good for her because it means I won’t embarrass her, plus she gets extra sleep. We’ll no doubt meet up again for an early lunch in town, ready for an afternoon of Dark Heresy down on Port Island. Well, most of the group will likely be doing the things we Dark Heretics do: blasting aliens and rolling dice. I’ll have to share my time with that and making a mad dash for the Elite Four.

The news that certain unseemly countries (yeah, even you, Britain!) have got themselves copies of the game before its release on the 12^th has urked me much more than I reckon it should. I think a big part of it is that Pokemon may be a popular, if childish, game across the world, but is this Generation 6 is a big milestone for internationalism. It was supposed to be the first simultaneous worldwide release, discounting things like timezones, but now it isn’t. Now some little Spoinks have got their hands on it ahead of the rest of us, before they were supposed to, and are enjoying a game that they don’t love as much as me not fair it’s not faaaaaair

This is primary school all over again.

What makes it worse is that they’re totally not embarrassed about what they’ve done. Browsing imgur has become a veritable minefield, as people (though in truth they are less than human) keep putting up pictures of ‘Look everyone at how you can ride this Pokemon now!’ or ‘Oh, look how it asks you if you want to renew your Repels’!

If we wanted to know, you rotten Trubbishes, we’d do the same as you and debase ourselves and our supposedly beloved franchise by breaking the rules! But we respect they people who made this game, you see? So we’ll wait! Impatiently, but we’ll do it! Nobody wants to see your ill-gotten achievements, but if they did I’d disown them from the human race! True Pokemon Masters know to be patient.

Phew. Imagine if I was this fanatical about my religion... Y’know, like I should be. I’m trying.

Right, back to Sports Day. The weather was clement; as clement as the inside of a nuclear reactor. But the odd patch of cloud cover made it marginally more bearable than the rehearsal day, as did my thick, greasy layer of sun cream. I still find that hard to believe: a rehearsal day for Sports Day. In Japan, it’s not a competitive sporting medley like, I dunno... No, I really don’t know. Like my Sports Days. Here it’s a performance, a song and dance, in which the actors occasionally race each other around the big, chalk track. Obviously the running, jumping etc. isn’t staged, but it does seem like there’s far too much prep work, in the scalding sun no less, for what amounts to a bit of marching and the synchronised waving of flags. We had convoys of wheelchairs lined up by the hall for the battalions of brave soldiers struck down by the heat. You can’ t tell me that’s safe conduct.

But anyway, it went well in the end. My usual gripe with Sports Day is that, as an auxiliary staff member, I’m expected to participate but with an expectation that doesn’t include actual plans with actual times and activities. I won’t rehash a year-old rant, but it’s like everybody expects everybody else to be the ones who come up with my schedule (and last year proved that I am incapable of that) and then nobody does it. So the time comes to run the staff relay, and everybody says ‘Go, Peter! Go get in your position!’, to which I reply ‘I don’t have a position!’ Then comes the frantic scrabbling as the other teachers crowbar the routes of two of the teachers apart to allot me a ridiculous ten metre sprint. Sprint? More like step. But this year, my vice principal had everything in hand. There was a piece of paper that lumped me together with the other non-PE non-medical teachers as seitou shidou, which means looking after the kids while they wait. We had fun, I must admit. I showed off my kanji skills, and dutifully ignored their questions of a sexual nature. They’re getting to that age, some of them. Also, nobody died, which was a real comfort. Last year we had a nasty leg breakage, but this year the kids suffered narely a scratch. A real success, I’d say.

I’d been finishing off Wheel of Time around the time of Sports Day, which gave my brain something to do every second it was awake and sometimes when not. I swear, that last book got right into my head. Probably had something to do with the five or so hours I spent not out jogging, finishing the entire last half of Memory of Light. Some ace deaths, and I’m of the opinion that a good death rounds off a great character. And the best two deaths were for characters I wasn’t even very keen on by the end. Got cheated out of an excellent death for my favourite character, though, who was somehow still kicking by the end of everything. But yeah, it really got me imagining. It was all I could do to hold back the ‘Tai’shar Manetheren’ as I began my hundred meter sprint in the staff relay. I also spent my more free time around the day rewording quotes from the series to match my job. ‘The ALT is of all-nen-sei and none.’ I was quite proud of that one.

Anyway, now we’ve got the Cultural Festival on the horizon, which I can appreciate all the rehearsal time for. Especially when all the kids have to do is stand still in the hall and sing. Much better than hours of marching outside. There’s been an interesting decision by some of the kids to form an impromptu Drama Club, and to manage their own performance for the actual stage show of Bunkasai. I’ll be looking forward to that. Last year’s Hashire Melos was simply bizarre, and the hodgepodge of the year before even stranger. I hear it’s the same all across Kobe: that’s what you get when a bunch of junior high school kids make up a play. Also looking forward to hearing the brass band play the Pirates theme and the title theme to Attack on Titan. Doesn’t matter that Titan is too slow-going for my tastes, and I hate Johnny Depp. So that’s end of the month, and the elementary ones are the beginning of the next. Steph’s been invited to my smaller elementary this year, which is sweet of them. I’ve been every year now, so I expect they’ve come to expect my presence. Would be nice to show off Steph to the kids, as well!

What else is there to say? Oh, my washing machine broke. It’s a real testament to my Japanese skills, I think, that they’ve come so far that I can actually do something like this. It’s funny, my study time has been extremely limited since coming here, and usually I only get the books out around Summer time. But conversationally I’ve grown a lot, and my confidence in speaking is through the roof. Maybe a lot of what I say isn’t good Japanese, but folk respond as though it is, which means I must be getting something right. Anyway, the washer needs a new circuit in its little circuit board, which is setting me back 15,000 yen. Quite a lot, but it’s better than buying a whole new one. The washer may be old, but chances are I’ll only be in the apartment for another few months, after which I’ll be married and can move to Steph’s much nicer place, with her much nicer washing machine. Well, nicer at any rate. So all I need is my current one to hold out until I leave, and then it’s someone else’s problem. Someone who doesn’t read the back issues of their predecessor’s blog, I should hope.

Steph’s currently showing me the old Star Trek films, following a conversation about the newer of the two J.J. Abrams ones. The first one was questionably laughable at best, but I actually did enjoy Wrath of Khan quite considerably. Which is good, because I hear they dip from there, with the occasional peak. Nothing a bit of beer won’t liven up, I’m sure.

Right, I’m done. Time to get on Minecraft and try to get those shaders working, then it’s off to bed. Not to sleep, though. I think sleep might be a long time coming, what with tomorrow on the horizon and all.

Thanks for reading. I’ll see you suckas at the League.

25 - Storm

Okay. Second attempt, start. Lost my original blog draft to Baby the netbook nearing the end of her half-decade tether, but we’ll soldier on. It’s not like I have a whole lot to do anyway. Besides plan a flipping wedding.

The biggest news to share today would have to be Steph and my return home to the icy-cold climes of Leicester. Next year’s wedding is set to take place in my home town, so all the planning for that took place in the vicinity of Leicester. Let’s see. We met and selected our wedding photographer, Marc (Yeah, with a ‘c’. What a hipster.), who’s a really nice guy. On the Thursday of the second week we took a trip down to Castle Gardens near DeMontford for what I learned are called ‘engagement photos’. Did everyone else know this was a thing? Because it was the first I’d heard of them. Actually, there’s a lot about weddings that I didn’t realize I was supposed to know. Engagement photos, wedding breakfasts, speeches. Oh, stars above, the speeches! And dancing! It’s not enough to just get up there and dance, you have to be watched dancing with your new spouse by the gathered friends and family (who, I’m sure, as part of the Strictly generation, will be expecting far more than I will ever be able to perform) and then there’s some rubbish about this guy dancing with this woman, and your pet rat dancing with your mother’s uncle’s cousin twice removed, and so on. Steph and I are of the opinion that we can forget all that. It’s good to agree about stuff.

Oh yeah, engagement photos. So, this at least I can understand. It gives us a chance to try out the photographer, build a working relationship and whatever, before we actually have the wedding. He gets used to us, too, and learns what sort of things we’re comfortable with, and what sorts of colours and locales make us look better. Steph and I both thought that there was one particular thing that we both did in too many of the photos, but I won’t tell you what. Don’t want you looking out for it when you see them, ‘cos then it’ll be all that you see. I am looking forward to seeing how they turn out, though, when Marc sends them over in the next week or so.

We also got in touch with a videographer company, ignite films, who sent over an ace sample DVD and instructions for the rest of the time before the wedding. Can I pick 10 fitting songs for the wedding video? I doubt it. All I can think of it soundtracks from stupid cartoons about robots, or angry punk rock from my childhood, neither of which will fit the overall theme of the wedding.

The church is booked, so that’s the most important thing out of the way. We still have to plan the service and the decorations and whatever, but that’s all no problem at this stage. We also have our reception venue booked, a place called Halstead House out in the country. I remember going there when I was little, back when they had a cafe, but nowadays the place only really does events. It’s a gorgeous place, and I’m glad we managed to get it. The guy who runs it, John, is also fantastic, and seems really keen to make sure everything fits what we want for the day. There’ll be food, but coming from veggie backgrounds has limited our choices a little bit, which brings us on to catering.

The plan as it stands is to have a couple of our favourite foods on offer after the service, downstairs, before the reception. Chips from me, and curry from Steph. And anyone who says anything about what we should be eating can get stuffed. At Halstead, we’ll just be having dessert, drinks and some finger food things that the House will be supplying.

Also have the order in for suits, which need to be fitted closer to the time. Didn’t think I’d like tails on a coat, but I was surprised, and the guy in the shop rightly said that your wedding will be one of the only times in your life that you can wear them. This was between repeatedly telling me that my original choice of a dark brown for the coat would make me look like an idiot. Well, excuse me for not keeping up with Gok flipping Wang.

Oh, and we even went to the council office on the Monday to register our intent to marry. It’s all very bureaucratic, I must say. We’ve let them know the date, our names and nationalities, and signed countless bits of paper to assure them that no, really, we aren’t brother and sister. And this information will apparently be going up on the one screen in the council office that says who’s getting married when for fifteen days. Apparently this is so people who object to our union have a chance to see what we’re planning and get in touch with the office to let them know we’re marrying illegally. As if people sit all day in front of the screen, just scanning all the newlyweds-to-be in Leicestershire, looking for people they know can’t get married! It’s very Hitchhiker’s Guide. ‘The notice was up on the screen for fifteen days, you were free to go and read it and have your say’.

Phew! This wedding stuff is easily the most complicated thing I’ve ever experienced, though to be fair I dropped Math and Science after GCSEs in favour of Drama so what do I know about complicated things. Putting everything into a working order is turning out to be incredibly difficult, especially with neither of us being in the flipping country until a week or so before the big day. But the wonders of technology prevail, and Skype has allowed us to set up meetings with various people regardless of where in the world we are.

It was great to be back in England, I must say. The weather was wonderfully chill, a superb break from the murderous heat and humidity of Kobe. The food is top class, and by ‘top class’ I mean really tasty, not necessarily classy. I must have eaten beans on toast, topped generously with sharp Welsh cheddar, every single day I was there. And I do think I ate all the fish and chips, and drank all the cider. Got a health check this afternoon at the ward office, and I doubt they’ll be very impressed with my weight again this year. Pfft, I’m beyond caring at this point.

It was also nice to see Steph’s mum, who flew in from Seattle to lend a hand with wedding stuff. Having been awash in the horror stories of parents taking the reins with their child’s wedding, I was honestly a touch nervous. But Marsha was genuinely full of good advice and reminders that it’s our day, and we are expected to do whatever we like with it.

Can I just say briefly that looking at weddings on the internet has caused me to question my faith in humanity? I mean, I’m sure you really like Doctor Who. But is it really something you want as the theme of one of the most important days of your life? At what point does the day stop being about you, and start being about Peter Whatshisface? I mean, I’m making a massive sacrifice by not insisting on Pokémon as the theme for our wedding, but it is for the best. Twenty years down the line, when hopefully there are kids in the equation, will I be able to shamelessly look them in the eyes and tell them that the day I married their mother the flower girls were dressed like Bellossums, and our vows included the line ‘to have and to hold, in health but also when Paralysed, Poisoned, Burned or Asleep’? I’m not sure I could. Our wedding is about us, and I guess I want the focus to be on myself, on Steph, and on God who brought us together. If you think your interest in a camp British sci-fi identifies you and your relationship with your partner, you be my guest and drive away from the church in a flipping police box. It’s just hard for me to understand without knowing you like I know myself.

Right, anyway, it was good to be back. We managed to get to Bradgate in our time back as well, which was really nice to see. It’s a gorgeous park, and the deer trump anything Nara can provide hands down. Many, many memories. And also Twycross Zoo, which is excellent. Monkeys. I forgot how much I like monkeys.

We even managed to take in a couple of films. Apparently we missed the boat for Pacific Rim, which we’ll have to rent some time, but we did manage to get to World’s End, which I really liked. It’s no Hot Fuzz, the ending is really confused and doesn’t seem to know what it’s doing, but the fights are just phenomenal and there is a good heart somewhere in there, even if it’s hard to see at times. We also got to see Monsters University, which was also great. Not as good as the original, but a stand-up prequel and massively entertaining. Going to see that movie also set the scene for one of the most awesome moments of my trip back. The cinema was packed with kids, as you might have expected, and as the pre-trailer adverts ran we shuffled through the noisy dark towards some of the last seats in the house, right near the front. I’m standing there in the centre aisle as we look around for the C that marked where we’d be sitting (there wasn’t one, as it turned out), when I hear a familiar voice. ‘Pikachu’, it says. I turn, wide-eyed, to the cinema screen, where Pikachu is waving down at me. And it really did feel like it was for me alone. Music roaring in my ears, Nintendo bellow down at me once again that Pokémon X & Y will be the best thing the gaming world has ever seen! Horde battles! 3D Pokémon! Macarons!! And so soon!! I nearly fell to my knees in surprise as the game logos sprung up big and beautiful on the silver screen. It was as though Pokémon had followed me half way round the world to remind me that it was looking forward to my patronage. Mine! Maybe I’m not explaining it well, but the whole thing was awesome in a very true sense of the word.

I also watched some films on the flight over, actually. Die Hard 5 was stupid and entertaining, as I expected, and was a really good pick-me-up out of the slump of watching all 800 hours of French sombre-fest Les Mis. I’m sure it’s better live, or maybe when not on a plane, but I just didn’t like it. It was slow and boring, and I didn’t like the characters. Also thought it was weird to have the characters always always singing, even when they’re not saying anything important. The only musical experience I have is Blood Brothers (excellent) and those musical episodes of Scrubs and Buffy, and in all of them we were given breaks from all the songs with bits of dialogue. Turns out, I much prefer that to a single, million hour long song like is Les Mis, even when sung by Wolverine. Oh, and I saw Wreck-it Ralph, too, which was pretty cool. Worth it for the brief glimpses of Sonic the Hedgehog, which always threatened to give me a nostalgia-riffic heart attack, and that’s even when I saw it on a stuffy plane and the ending credits were sung by AKB 48. Those poor girls. This time, it was so obvious that they did not care about their music. That’s what you get for commercialising art, or something.

What else was there? Had a good chat with my brother again, all the way down in New Zealand. It seems funny that I’m in an almost neighbouring country now, but to talk to him I flew all the way to the opposite side of the planet to him. Still, it was great to see him on Skype. I do miss my little brother, and I eagerly look forward to arriving in NZ in January to see Hobbiton. Him. I meant ‘him’. It’s funny, having the little guy getting married before me. I’m over the affront, and now I’m just keen to see what he does with his wedding so Steph and I can improve on i- I mean, be inspired by it.

Oh, right, Steph and I got new phones yesterday. And what a hassle that was. We wanted out of Softbank, seeing as our two years were up and in Kobe, at least, they can be a bit iffy with foreigners. Despite having all their catalogues and reference guides in English, I might add! When we first got our phones we paid with credit cards from overseas, not having Japanese accounts yet, and a week later went in to change the payment details. Can we do that? ‘No’, we were told, by the flustered looking attendant in the shop, ‘no way’. So we left, and for a year spend a ton exchanging money to pay the small costs of our phones. Only, second year comes around, and suddenly all the new newcomers are switching to Japanese accounts after a week of using foreign cards. We go back in and ask again. ‘Of course you can,’ we are told. ‘You even could have last year!’ See, what happened was the flustered looking muppet saw two scary gaijin come into his shop and ask duh I dunno something about phones I don’t speak English so whatevs even tho they’re speaking perfect Japanese. And said ‘no’. Could have asked him for the time. ‘No’. Could have told him to call an ambulance ‘cos I’d been shot. ‘No’. When we switched to au, I did explain this to the lovely woman from Softbank who took our details, and I do hope she’ll do something about it.

Let's talk about something else. Short time skip, and my health check's all done. I'm slightly fatter, but ultimately lighter than last year, and also shorter. Not sure how that last one works. Blood pressure's up, but no tuberculosis. Not a bad result, all in all. Also been up to the annual Job Training, and after than Summer School at the Foreign Studies university. It was my first time in a position of responsibility among the JETs, which was pretty nerve-wracking, but I think everything went well nonetheless. That's what comes from having this ace community, I guess; folk you can rely on. Next Job Training, or rather, the Skills Development Conference, is in November. I have a proposition for a discussion down for then, though I don't know if it'll be accepted.

Summer School, likewise, was excellent. My school's kids came for the first year ever, and though there were only two of them they really did well and I think had a great time. Steph's kids were fascinated by me, as well, having never met their ALT's legendary fiancee... fian... however you spell it – before. But now the break's over, and tomorrow it's back to work. Well, 'work'. The holiday continues, so the kids won't be in, but I'll have meetings and things to go to in addition to preparing new classes. Nothing strenuous, but still doesn't beat sitting at home all day playing Saints Row, which is what the typhoon today forced me to do. 'Forced'.

Alright, that's it. Thanks for reading.

24 - Icumen

It’s summer. Strange to think that this is my third summer here. The first was busy as anything, being full of orientation and whatnot, things like getting phones and arranging bank accounts. Last year was a lot quieter. I remember sitting around in the staffroom in a t-shirt and shorts (‘cos in summer, you can pretty much wear what you want most of the time) with very little to do. This year’s a funny sort of mix. I’m busy, but maybe not THAT busy.

Let’s see. Steph and I fly home on Saturday, a prospect I’m not looking forward to. Not the being home bit, I can’t wait for that. But the going home, that’s not gonna be a good time. Still, Wheel of Time’s picked up from the thick treacle that was books nine and ten, so maybe I can just marathon it for twelve hours. Wonder what kind of films they’ll have? Being home will be great, it’s always much easier to relax and unwind in Leicester than Kobe, but it won’t be just two weeks of sitting around. No, we’ve got a wedding to plan! The first week will be spent meeting photographers, visiting reception halls and having a long, serious talk with the minister at church. Then it’s off to London to get Steph authorized for British matrimony or whatever kind of bureaucratic nonsense they name it, and back again for wedding suits and stuff. Still need to pick a best man for that.

Oh, yeah. Then there’s the save the date video. Nearly done, but it’s been a real uphill struggle. Some of our UK time will be spent filming for that, I reckon. Which leaves me exceedingly little time, I reckon, to chill. I suppose that’s fine. I suppose knowing there’s going to be a wedding at the end of it helps. But it sure is starting to feel like my peaceful days are over. After this there’ll only be something else. Honeymoons or mortgages or something. Urgh.

I guess the heat doesn’t help. Kobe is so humid it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning. Every morning it’s a huge struggle to just clamber out the front door, and the only air conditioning I get in a working day is on the bus. Very unpleasant. I hear that Japanese meteorologists are saying that this year’s rainy season was too short, so we’re gonna get a really nasty hot streak until late October. Compared to that, any amount of time in Britain, even if it’s all spent on my feet arranging this one event, is welcome.

Lots of goodbyes this month. Kobe JET is getting a bit slaughtered this year, with some real amazing folk returning home or just moving elsewhere in the country. Lots of parties, I suppose is the upside to that. This year’s farewell event was excellent, a fitting sending off to all the JETs leaving this year. I guess the upshot of that is that we’ll be receiving a whole bunch of newcomers to make up the numbers. That’ll be interesting. Rumour has it that JET is hiring more experienced Japanese speakers than before, including some who speak it at a near-native level. The times they are a-changing, I guess. I can understand, based off the sort of reception I got when it became apparent I spoke Japanese. The teachers here make no attempt to hide the fact that their lives are made considerably easier by my language ability. I wonder how many of them have teaching experience? I’m told by some of the ex-teachers on JET that English teaching here is incomparable to elsewhere, so maybe they won’t be aiming for people with experience. Or maybe I’m wrong about that.

There’s not a great deal to talk about, to be quite honest with you. Life goes on, and the end of the first semester isn’t a really big deal. Been having a lot of meetings about Summer School, which is gearing up to be really great. A friend and I will be running one of the activities for the kids, which isn’t a massive job but still requires pre-planning and whatnot. Also I’ll be giving a presentation at the preceding Job Training event, which is pretty much the same. Lots of meetings, then. Also had what they call a ‘delivery service’ yesterday, where some of us went off to an elementary school up in Sanda City to help the teachers there plan English classes. It was a good day, I thought, and the staff there were ace. Also managed to meet a couple of my old ES teachers there, too, which was great.

I do love games. This week I’ve been playing Civilization 5, picked up in the Steam sale, which is really great. I had a lot of issues with 4, but they’re all gone in 5. I like being Celtic. All that faith! Also there’s Torchlight, which was free to buy about a month ago. Bought Torchlight 2 recently, so I really have to press on and finish the first one so I can get around to starting the second. Fun game. A little repetitive, but certainly exciting in a sort of Diablo-y, Borderlands-y, loot-y way. Looking forward to trying 2 out in multiplayer, maybe over the summer. And then there’s Cube World, which is in alpha and not really a deep game yet, but is still a lot of fun. I’m an undead warrior who rides an alpaca. What more can I say?

There’s still a ton of talk about Pokémon, though. Just a few more months until X and Y, and it’s becoming a real struggle to avoid news about new features so I’ll be surprised on release. And I DO want to be surprised. It’s probably a good thing that I won’t be able to make it to the Pokémon convention in Tokyo near the end of summer. It’s all I can do to stop myself immediately planning out my teams.

Steph and I are thinking of getting new phones this summer. Our iPhone contracts end at the end of next month, if I remember right, and we’re both thinking like maybe it’s time to move on from Softbank. The deal was great, and the phones were immensely useful, especially for our opening few weeks. But the phones are getting old now, and it’s looking like it’ll almost be cheaper to get something else than have to constantly get our old relics repaired. A friend of ours recommended a full reset before making any big decisions, which is a fine idea, but I would so like an Android. And a phone company that isn’t often a bit iffy with foreigners, despite having a foreigner as one of their store mascots. Have an excuse to visit au as well, what with my overseas landline debts to pay off. That’s what you get for picking an airline that’s based in another country, and sees fit to change your itinerary once a month and demand that you call them (not email, never email) to confirm the changes. Doesn’t help that the bills got sandwiched between some ignored junk mail for several weeks, meaning I now have to pay some late fees as well. Regrettable, but not the worst thing to happen. One of the good things about watching Game of Thrones is being able to say, ‘at least we won’t be having THAT wedding’.

Think I’m about done. Short one today, eh! Took me thirty minutes to write, apparently. Still gives me time to advance Polynesia to the Medieval era before dinner, if I play my cards right.

Thanks for reading.

23 - Running Theme

It’s been a bit of a Pokéweek. Starting with all that news about the new Pokémon for X and Y (out October counting the days), it seems like the world is trying to remind me of why I’m here in Japan. And it’s not for its burgeoning job market or charming insect life. As I may say a little too often, I would probably not have come to Japan if it weren’t for some guy’s bug-hunting fascination. Earlier this month it was announced that video game apparel company Game King would be making a set of t-shirts for the Pokémon Center featuring the original starter Pokémon. I promised myself I wouldn’t fall into the otaku trap of anime merchandising but this! This I can allow!

Anyway, with a trip to Osaka tentatively planned for Friday afternoon I can add more fuel to the fire that is my love of Pokémon. In the meantime, news has continued to spread of something called Pixelmon, which is a Pokémon mod for Minecraft. There have been several in the last year or so, but this one’s ace. Realistic sizes, real moves and stats, EVs… A pity you seem to be able to put a Pokémon to sleep while it’s poisoned and paralysed, and then freeze it. And then burn it. They may have to work on that.

More importantly, the mod has really opened the eyes of the public to some of the key issues that are seldom explored in the Pokémon universe. The most pressing of which is, if all animals in the world are semi-intelligent monsters capable of free thought and fire breath, then what exactly is that chicken-looking thing that Ash is eating? Is it a Pidgey? Because I highly doubt Nintendo would approve of that. And so, in Pixelmon, the hunt for food is your greatest challenge in the beginning. Apples are rare, and crops like wheat take time to grow. There’s no livestock to hunt, so you can’t find meat. Fishing is a possibility still, but fishing rods require string, which requires you to kill spiders, which no longer exist. Well, defeating bug Pokémon occasionally drops string for you, which is fine, but defeating Pokémon requires a Pokémon of your own. So, if your brand new Bulbasaur, level 5, is set upon by a massive Arbok on your first day, and is knocked out of commission, you’re scuppered! You can’t heal Pokémon without a bed, which needs wool, which needs you to be able to defeat Pokémon, or a healing table which requires diamond and aluminum, of all things. Certainly not easily accessible. So in the beginning the world is cruel, and it takes long hours of searching (or some excellent luck) to get very far.

On Saturday, continuing the theme, Hanayama is hosting a Pokémon themed scavenger hunt. It’s a little like one of those made in Heaven situations you hear about, like being told you’ll be studying Spirited Away in Japanese class for a semester, where the reality can almost never live up to expectations. And, come on, a Pokémon scavenger hunt? My expectations are pretty high. Fortunately I have the utmost faith in the team preparing this event. I’m sure it’ll be a blast, and you’ll all be hearing the blow-by-blow after the day itself.

So yeah. There’s Pokémon, and then there’s the rest of my life.

Picking an example right out of the air, I had an endoscopy last weekend. A first for me, believe it or not, and the strangest experience I have ever undergone. It was the culmination of many weeks of doctor’s visits, many of which were utterly pointless. I mean, let’s take this from the beginning. I went to the doctor complaining of localized, persistent stomach pains, enough that it was difficult to sleep on my left side at night. The doctor told me it was probably nothing, just a case of gastritis, and I should take the medicine he proscribed and come back if the problems persist. Well, a week went by, and the medicine helped. But then a second week went by and they were back, worse than ever. I returned to the doctor to explain. Unfortunately, the doctor I’d had before wasn’t around, and some med student from Osaka sat in his place. He said there was little he could do, not being pro like the other guy, so gave me a renewal on the medicine and asked me to come back the next day, when he was in. He’d give me an endoscopy, I was told. I should have seen the break in those two statements, looking back. So far I’d spent about two thousand on drugs, just over a tenner, which isn’t bad considering. It was the next trip that irked me, when I turned up expecting to undergo exploratory surgery (can it be called that?). Old Doc was back, and said an endoscopy was the way. He then told me to come back on Saturday, when he’d do it. Not right then, not like I’d been psyching myself up for. Another long week of waiting. He then charged me another 500 yen for his sweet time and sent me on my way. For ‘consultation charges’, the receipt says. Tch.

So, the day itself. I went on in having not eaten anything the night before, and strolled up to the office. They’d been expecting me, and asked me to wait in this shadowy little corner of the waiting room where it was cold and I was afraid (needlessly, I know). Steph was there, which was a comfort, but it was honestly quite scary waiting for all this to go down. Eventually, a very nice young man comes out and takes my temperature and blood pressure. Seeing that they were okay, he then sticks a thing in my arm which is linked up to one of those portable drips you see really, really sick folk tugging around in hospital dramas. He assured me that the clear liquid going into my arm wasn’t going to do anything, which made me wonder just what the point of it was, but that a flick of the switch would change the input to something that would knock me out. I have to drink this nasty Pocari Sweat thing that supposedly cleaned up my innards ready for inspection, and then I’m off. Steph waits outside while I lie down on this surgery bed thing, on my side, and get a plastic thing put in my mouth so I don’t chomp down on the camera in my sleep. There’s about a hundred and one bits of plastic being passed around in front of me, and funny paper sheets being laid up on my shoulders and under my head for some reason. Then I’m told I’ll start to feel sleepy. It takes a little while, but before long I realize everything feels a bit funny, like the reception between by self and my body has taken a dip, and suddenly I’m waking up and the whole thing’s over. Steph’s there next to me, and the doctor’s smiling like I’d just done something really funny, which if I had nobody’s told me about. It was also two hours later. Two whole hours!

They later explained that what’s wrong with me is an enflamed esophagus, which is totally not the stomach cancer my paranoia thought it was. Totally treatable, with a month’s regular medicine. I’m very glad Steph was there for the explanation, because I do have a hard time remembering what was happening. Like, I can’t tell what I saw and what I dreamed. I’m fairly sure what I remember happened, but it’s all foggy like a fake memory. I remember going home and eating beans on toast, my reward for soldiering through a totally risk-free operation, and I remember sitting at my computer. I remember trying to play a free indie horror game I’d tried the night before and been scared away from, and I remember finishing it, but did that happen? Maybe I just deleted the thing out of fear. I also have weird semi-memories of the things I saw in my own stomach, pinned up on the doctor’s PC while he explained what was wrong. Something that looked like a handful of pink snakes? Was that real, or just my imagination?

Anyway, I shook myself out of it eventually. And a good thing I did, as that evening was the annual Kobe JET Scavenger Hunt. A big hat off to Team enTOURage for a stellar performance running around Sannomiya. I will remember chasing the Black Plague down that escalator for as long as I live. It’s unlikely we won. I mean, my hypothesis for the criminal was first class, amazing stuff. It came alive as you read it. But unfortunately it was wrong, so it wasn’t that alive. But it’s not about the winning. When it comes to running around Sannomiya in dorky outfits, asking people who Sharpie’d their own face whether they spoke any Jamaican, it is most certainly not about the winning.

Things at school carry on pretty much as normal. School trips have meant I have a fair bit of free time at my desk, allowing for pre-planning of some of the other things I’ll be doing this year. ICPs… Urgh… I have a killer ICP plan, but let’s just not talk about that until my principal is sure she wants it done. Also got a chance to go see my elementary school sports day a couple of weeks ago, which was excellent. It was interesting seeing the older kids marching around all serious as they will eventually do in middle school, and seeing that seriousness devolve steadily down the years until you see the youngest lot hopping onto the pitch like frogs. Also the fifth year homeroom teacher dressed as Doraemon was something to behold. That is a man without shame. It was also great to see some of my middle schoolers outside of a school environment. About a fifty-fifty split between those who were so cool for school they pretended like I wasn’t there, and those who thought the idea of me in shorts was the funniest thing in the universe. Cute, either way. And I tell you, sports days in the UK cannot match up. The kids were rolling giant balls around, class v class tug of war with over eighty students on a single rope. And some of the most dangerous clambering around on top of other people I have ever seen, and I understand it was pretty tame compared to some schools. I was surprised a few days later when I was talking with the principal of the other elementary, and she asked “How long did you stay?” “The whole thing,” I replied, and she reacted like I’d told her I’d fought in a war. “Well done,” she said. “That can’t have been easy.” Well, I quite like the praise so I shut my mouth about how it wasn’t that bad. Wasn’t that bad. It was a very early start, and I did feel dead by the end. But not that bad.

Back to games. Playing a lot of Tomodachi Collection lately. Pete and Steph got married and now have a son with a humongous forehead. I also learnt that couples can split up (and it was so traumatic that it’s become hard to look some people, real people, in the eye), and also that you can arrange couples together by recommending them as a couple of a meddlesome friend. So don’t worry, mum and dad, there’s hope for you yet! Also been playing more of Lord of the Rings with Steph. Hit level 30 recently, which means I’m hardcore. Ace game, that, easily the best MMO I’ve ever played.

Ah, yes, E3 just around the corner now. Real excited this year. Last year I wasn’t fussed, but this year I’m expecting some big news. Super Smash, maybe? Please? And I’ll drink up anything about Saints Row IV I can find. I was skeptical after their rather pointless release trailer earlier in the year, but the latest one just blew me away. It’s perfect. I’d watch it every day if that wasn’t a bit obsessive. Preordered it not long later, which apparently gets me a jet plane shaped like an eagle.

Last Game of Thrones tonight. That last episode damaged me somewhere deep inside, but I think I’m ready to face the conclusion now. Really looking forward to it, this season’s been amazing. Excited to see how it all ends. Also eating up series 6 of Buffy like it’s going out of style. (As opposed to the reality, which is that it went out of style a long time ago.) The villains this time around are easily my favourites, for obvious reasons, though we’ll have to see if they can keep up the charm.

Right, I’m out. Thanks for reading.

22 - Overdue

Right, okay, here we go. Lots of time to cover here. Forgive me for writing up a list of things to talk about.

End of term and graduation

Spring break

New term: New teachers and students

Golden week

Plans for the rest of term

Stuff like books, films, TV and games

It’s certainly been a while. I could list all the little excuses that have kept me from a word processor these past months, but that wouldn’t interest you. And ultimately they would be nothing but excuses. Needless to say, it’s been a tough enough time finding the energy to do anything in my free time, and recounting the highlights of my weeks has been low on the old priority list. But that changes today. Today you get it all.

The term ended towards the end of March, to much fanfare and revelry. Lamentably I was unable to attend this year’s graduation, being held up with work at elementary school. Being one of the biggest events of the year, and the last time to see the old third years before they leave, it was truly unfortunate to have to miss it. I even got a few startled looks from the other teachers in the staff room at elementary after they saw that my junior high’s graduation was on that day. “Peter,” one teacher said, “you didn’t go to graduation?!” “Sensei,” I replied, “I was teaching your class while it was happening.” I didn’t intend to guilt trip, but there was an undeniable satisfaction at his grimace. But no matter. I got chances to say goodbye over the next few weeks, and still see a few of them around. A few even tried to add me on Facebook, which was touching if a little, how should I put it, professionally dangerous.

After that came Spring Break. Japan has ruined me for Spring holidays. I remember our Spring Break in Doshisha all those years ago: a whole month plus change to tour the country and blow off steam. I was lucky to get those three days of leave that I scrimped together. Could have taken more, but I do need to save up. Lots of overseas trips planned for the coming year. And that means lots of paid leave time. Leave time I can’t just take any time I like.

So Spring Break was spent relaxing wherever I could, and attending professional development seminars to avoid having to go to work. Not that I didn’t enjoy the relaxed atmosphere of a school without students; I got some killer reading done in the staff room over the holiday. Roaring through Wheel of Time 7, which I am told is where it starts going downhill. Enjoying it so far, but we’ll see. But time with friends trumps time at school, even if it’s in a professional setting. It was certainly enjoyable, however. Presented a lesson that I thought was especially good one afternoon, and spent another filing away conversation activities for later use. A whole day was spent in front of a computer creating something beautiful, an ESL resource that will likely never see the light of day. It’s funny what we as humans decide is important. Steph and I have to fly to the UK over the Summer, which requires careful planning and consideration. But I haven’t spent even a fraction of the energy I used up writing We’re Talking of the Dead on flights and Foreign Office appointments, which are decidedly more important. I swear, I cut out a chunk of my soul and crammed it into the computer that day, or so it felt when I finally left for an enkai in town, staggering about with wearied limbs and a splitting headache. Why was I built like that, to take such pleasure in pushing my limits for something inane while avoiding real responsibilities? Another question for the big man when I reach heaven, I suppose. I have quite a list already.

Next comes the start of the new term. It’s always fascinating to see the kids take off their old roles and struggle into new ones. The new second years were all puffy chested with pride at being the seniors at last, which made them much more agreeable and excitable where English was concerned. The usually chaotic second years calmed down within days of making the progression to their final year, and some even went so far as to become shy. I wouldn’t have believed it unless I’d seen it myself. But then there’s the new lot, the first years, and they are just excellent. Having taught them for two years already, they were already very familiar with me and my lessons, but I had no idea they’d be so eager to see someone they knew. These first weeks of lesson have been an absolute breeze. They catch on quickly to what I’m trying to explain, nodding their heads and shouting ‘okay!’ even when told not to, and bless their hearts they are actually trying to do what I tell them to. Give it time, and they’ll realise that cheating the system is more fun. But for now it seems the possibility of not asking the required questions in English and just using muttered Japanese does not occur to them, something I’m very glad of. I also know far more of their names, though a mistaken name does still warrant outright mockery. That’s the one drawback with being known as an elementary guest teacher: they do not take me seriously. ‘Oh, it’s only Peter. He doesn’t get angry.’ Well, let them think that. Maybe I’ll show them.

A new year means more than just new students. There are five new teachers at the school this year, including one who’s an English teacher. Mr. Koyama and I are getting along famously so far, though his style of class is very textbook, not the sort I’m so familiar with. But he’s flexible with his plans, and has made it clear that I’m welcome to suggest whatever I think is best for the class. His English is also far better than that of his predecessor, wherever she is now. A bigger surprise came from the assignment of the new principal of the school. You ever see that movie Kindergarden Cop? You imagine what it must have been like for those kiddy actors to have the Terminator walk into their classroom and announce in his rock-cut no-nonsense tones that he was to be their new homeroom teacher? Well, that’s a little like how it felt having the head of the Guidance Division of the Board of Education arrive at school one day, and tell me in clear and nigh-perfect English that she would be staying.

In many ways, Shiba-sensei’s presence is a great opportunity for the school, and for me as an ALT. She is intimately familiar with how ALTs operate in Kobe City, and already knows what makes for a good team teaching lesson of English. She is unbelievably encouraging and supportive, and being able to talk to the principal in unrestrained English is excellent for knowing where to be and what to be doing at any given time. Plus, I won’t have to bow and scrape so much to get that aforementioned time off when Steph and I eventually get married. I guarantee that she will bend over backwards to get me on a plane home. It’s also excellent leverage for the other teachers in the school, knowing the ex-Guidance Division principal as well as I do. They’re less likely to look down on me, not that they really did anyway, knowing that I’m well-connected. But, see, this is where the problems start. When I was told who was going to be my new principal by the new head of the Guidance Division, he clapped a hand on my shoulder with a sympathetic smile and said, “Sorry.” My teachers are scared of her because they know how exceptionally driven she is to get things done, and my OTEs in particular are despairing that this year is gonna be a tough one. A few days ago, Shiba-sensei (or am I supposed to call her by her title now?) sat me down in her office and went over her plan for the year. Our school was going to host the observation lesson for our block of four schools this year, I already knew that. It was also going to host a KICP, a sort of mega-lesson involving other ALTs from across Kobe, send kids to Summer School during the holiday and prepare a speech for November’s English Festival. And that’s just the stuff we know about already. There’s gonna be a ton of extra little English events occurring over the year, and we will have a hand in every last one, if Principal Shiba gets her way. Professional development, pushing your boundaries, looks good on a CV, blah blah blah. I’m gonna be exhausted come Christmas! And my OTEs are already planning to kill the woman, I think. And me, for being her faithful servant. I will try to do my best this year, but it’s not making me very popular so far.

Right. So, that’s the half way mark. Feel free to go get a drink of coffee, check that Facebook newsfeed, take a walk around the room to get circulation back into your legs. I’ll be here when you get back.

Golden Week’s a funny thing. For one, it’s not even a proper week. Still had school between Tuesday and Thursday, though I shouldn’t complain. After all, Golden Week was the last mid-week holiday we’ll be getting for a long, long time. We had big plans, Steph and I. Well, a big plan. We were going to make one of our occasional Costco trips, though we were often reminded how foolish heading to that cattle farm on a holiday sounded. We didn’t, in the end, but that was for the four-day weekend. On the Sunday before we had a great evening out with a couple of friends in Osaka, after a walk around ourselves visiting the usual places. There’s a bar there run by a bunch of foreigners with a video game feel to it. There’s old consoles dotted around which you can play when you feel like it, and we happened to be there for a trivia night on top of that. Tricky stuff, and Steph and I left early to be sure we got the last train home, but certainly a lot of fun. Our teammates won, in the end, though they later told us it was a mad dash to the train to make it home. We sure are proud of them, and secretly not sure we would have been any help anyway.

I’m sick at the moment. Not real sick, not anymore, but suffering the last gasps of one nasty cold. It was a cold that began Thursday night of Golden Week, keeping me from drinking with my teachers like I’d planned to, but it quickly escalated. I think my body was aware of the holiday, and the chance to let out what it’d been keeping in. It was so rubbish. I felt awful. So, no Costco. Instead, Steph and I played Minecraft together for what must have been three days straight. An entertaining way to spend Golden Week, I suppose, and certainly relaxing, though I did have to blink away phantom boxy edges of the world that sometimes materialised on the edges of my vision. We have a four-storey tower, which Steph built up as I dug down. Also an expansive farm with wheat, potatoes, carrots, cocoa beans and pumpkin, and an automated defence system for the corners of the house. Steph’s been exploring further and further out, and making enough maps to threaten the world’s sources of paper, while I’ve been strip-mining hell to make a sweet tower out of Nether Brick. It was a busy four days. I did okay this last week, didn’t suffer too much, but I’m still full of sniffles and my stomach feels like it’s been punched a few times too many. Give it a few more days, maybe this weekend, and it oughta clear itself up.

Urgh, everything feels so busy right now. It’s only Thursday, but it feels like it should be Friday. I don’t want to have to go back to school tomorrow, even though the lessons should be straightforward. I guess that’s what comes from having only a single lesson today; the whole thing feels stretched out like an eternity. Bring on the weekend, and the Star Wars marathon!

So, what’s left for the rest of term? The third years are off to Okinawa tomorrow, along with a third of the staff, and they’ll be back on Wednesday ready for tests. There’s plans in the air for next weekend’s sports day at my elementary schools, which I should probably attend. Year before last I got Monday off for going to the music festival at elementary, but this year’s vice-principal is not so generous. I’ll just have to go out of the goodness of my heart. Been teaching a little to the new first years at elementary recently. Cute, cute kids. It feels like a lot of them know me already somehow, though I’m sure not all of them can have older siblings in the school already. I got a few shouting my name before I introduced myself, and they all recovered from their fearful uncertainty of the pale-skinned giant very quickly. Already have a few golden questions from the little guys. “Peter-sensei, where are you from?” “I’m from England.” “Oh. Did you come here on the Hankyu train line?” “No, by plane.” “Wow!” I can’t imagine myself being so young once, but I guess I must have been. They also seemed to think it was hilarious that I didn’t know the school song that I’d never even heard before, as though being to be a teacher required me to sing it off by heart in an interview. And the ever-popular disbelief that I can store two complete languages in my head at the same time.

Life continues as normal for the next month or so, then. No big plans or anything particularly noteworthy. Summer officially starts with the scavenger hunt in June. The team is almost assembled (ahead of time, in an attempt to avoid last year’s debacle) and the theme chosen. It’s a surprise. You’ll see. And probably disapprove. No big film trips planned; the last one was the excellent Iron Man 3 and there’s nothing we’re really gonna trip over ourselves to go see. Saw the trailer for World’s End, which is looks exceptional, though I wish I hadn’t now. It did ruin the surprise, and though I’m sure it’ll still live up to its legacy I’d’ve liked to have been surprised. Game of Thrones continues very well, though right now it seems to be easing itself into the pre-climax lull that ate up over half of the latest series of Walking Dead. Now that was a disappointing conclusion. It’s starting to feel like the show’s lost its way, and it’s gotten too careful with things like character life and mental state. I mean, you remember the last series finale? It was brutal, to say the least, and totally made up for the sluggish pace of the rest of it. This time around was comparatively tame, and that was not what I’d come to expect about the show. Having said that, I’ll still keep watching. I just think it’s ironic that I had been looking forward to Walking Dead more, where I have no idea what’s gonna happen next, but am in fact enjoying Game of Thrones more, where I’ve already been told by the original author that he means to kill off everyone I ever show the slightest attachment to. The show is good enough that, although I know it’s just gonna break my heart, I can’t stop caring. Good stuff.

I guess if I’m talking about TV, I can also talk about Alan Wake. I mean, it’s a game, but it’s totally also a TV show. Finished the first two “episodes” so far, and am loving it. More than I loved The Ball, which was not at all. I mean, it’s well-written for one thing, or “well-written” like a proper less-than-believable supernatural drama on TV. So it’s cheesy in places, but in the right places. And it plays well, too. Also finished LA Noire recently, which I also enjoyed despite it making me want to rip my hair out in places. I mean, I know that the guy’s lying to me, and I can prove it to the suspect no problem, but it’s proving it to the game that really got to me. When I give the right answer only to have it throw it back in my face! I was right, Phelps! I was! That Routine ranking was all your fault, not mine! Hear me?!

Ah, now, here’s a bit of game news that should interest most of you. Over Golden Week I picked up a copy of the new Tomodachi Collection game for 3DS, and it is excellent. The game has you make your friends in little Mii form and put them to work on an island where they work, play, fight and fall in love. And you lot have made some proper weird choices, I tell you. I mean, putting the Slenderman in was probably my own fault, but it can’t excuse everything. Like a certain Australian acquaintance of mine who tried to seduce my mother. Needed some heavy-handed action to quash that little problem. Some of you have shut yourselves in your rooms and refused to come out. Some of you have had some pretty brutal arguments. But I won’t let you get married until Mii-Pete and Mii-Steph do! And that’s taking its sweet time, I tell you. Dangerously close to friendzoning on more than one occasion.

And on that note, time for me to go. Might be able to get through episode 3 of Wake before I need to sleep. That’d be nice.

Thanks for reading.

21 - Champon

‘Champon’. A new word to me. ‘Champon’ is when you drink different kinds of alcohol at a party, and the effects are less than desirable. An old adage from my university days seems to mean roughly the same thing: “Wine then beer, feeling queer.” This weekend I was introduced to this concept among the lively ranks of my third-year staff. “’Champon’ is very dangerous,” explained the head of year in grave tones. “It is not ‘champion’.”

So why did they see fit to fill up my beer glass with wine?! And why all that sake?! Was it some kind of test?! Do they actually want me to suffer, and are using a very roundabout way to tell me they don’t like me?! Because I tell you, champon sucks.

There were two of us that suffered visibly ill effects from Friday night’s drinking, and I should count my blessings that I came out the better of us. My OTE lost most of his memory of that night, and woke up in someone else’s hotel room. He also nearly fell asleep in the bath the next morning, and collapsed on the floor of his own room after breakfast, where he lay for over an hour.

A good trip, then. I suppose. No, in all honesty it was a fantastic event, and I am thrilled that I was invited to come along. Awaji is a beautiful place; maybe a little too touristy to warrant many trips there in the future, but certainly a great place to visit. And the weather was perfectly stellar. Clear skies, light breezes, bright sunshine… Even in the dark, murky midst of a hangover I enjoyed myself.

On the Friday afternoon our trip began at something called Fukimodoshi no Sato. You know what a fukimodoshi is? I’ve been wracking my brain for the English translation, but I just can’t think of it. It’s those little party things where you blow in one end and the paper on the other unfurls and makes a funny noise. You know what I’m talking about? Like a kazoo, but not actually a kazoo. Anyway, whatever they are, we went to a factory that makes them. It was this little blue building in the middle of farmland, and has a constant staff of five or six whose sole reason for living it to make these dumb little party things. Making them, and modifying them into radical new shapes and designs. It looked to me like quite a depressing way to make a living, dedicating your working week to such a humble piece of plastic. But the trip was pretty cool, I have to admit. We made six of the little things each, and the staff taught us how to modify them to do different things, like hit someone in the face or flicker like a snake’s tongue. We were only there for a short while, and that was probably for the best.

After that it was off to the hotel. A swanky place, all marble and red carpeting in the lobby but classic Japanese tatami-fest in the rooms themselves. Nice, comfortable, and with a great view of the sea. Took a bath before dinner, which was alright. I think the other teachers thought I was a bit weird for having to get out a mere ten minutes after getting in. But seriously, I cannot take such intense heat for so long. I end up feeling nauseous, as I know many of us ALTs do.

And then there was dinner… I really should expect this sort of thing to happen, but each time it catches me by surprise. Dinner’s main course was a choice between king prawns that may as well have been called god-emperor prawns for how big they were, and a fish’s head. Just cut off and broiled. Staring up at me from the plate, all beady eyes and nasty, little teeth. And I ate it. I ate that fish head down to the bare bones. Not the eye, though. That juicy little marble I hit under the cheekbones. My OTE did the same, so I have no shame of it. Other delightful courses included small fish, big fish, shellfish, and something very hard and octopus-shaped crammed into a big, spiky snail’s shell. At least, I hope it was crammed in there. I’d hate to think it lived there… I ate all I could, but as is always the way with these things, eating gradually dissolved into drinking, and by the end of the meal I had been engrossed in so much talking and filling other people’s drinks I could use the excuse that I just didn’t have time to finish.

The next day, which was all dark blurs and swaying like the island was adrift, we went souvenir shopping. Ah, souvenirs. I will never quite understand you. I ended up buying a whole bunch of octopus crackers, which apparently are some kind of regional specialty, for taking to elementary school tomorrow, and another bunch for the teachers at my main school. I think this is the first time I’ve brought in souvenirs that I actually would not want for myself. We got back to the school around half eleven, and I was left by myself by my hungover teachers, who dispersed off to do some teacher things, I guess. I know my OTE very bluntly said he was going to sleep in the nurse’s office. I ended up being entertained by a pair of third years who tried to teach me famous comedian catchphrases, and told me how uncool all their teachers are. “Peter, Sakata-teacher has big face. Short legs. No girlfriend.” It got pretty scathing. But I was impressed, and touched, that they were able to continually talk to me in broken English for well over an hour, and didn’t get bored or tired. When they left, I stuck my head in the staffroom and asked some of the non-hungover second year teachers if it was alright if I left. They said “of course”. So home I went, to ease my whirling stomach.

And that was my trip. Like I said, I really enjoyed it, and though I didn’t manage to talk to everyone I feel like my place in the school has been solidified a little more by my being there. Next party is the beginning of August, with the farewell party for the leaving teachers. I do wonder who’ll be going. My second year OTE is definitely going, as she’s only a part-timer (still not sure how that works) and her contract’s up this year. Besides that, I just have to cross my fingers and hope the others don’t beat it, as well. Third year OTE has only been here three years, and other teachers have assured me that he still has a while to go. But my first year OTE has been here for eight, so is overdue. I guess if I’m planning on staying here for a few more years myself, I’ll have to see him off eventually. But I’d like to put it off as long as I can.

Next, some more school news. I was informed early last week that the computer I use at school is a rental model from the KEC. A rent that will expire at the start of the next academic year. This is very bad news, as I have come to rely on the little NEC brick that lives on my desk. The open access desktop is often in use, and often breaks down, especially when I’m using it. At times like this, my own computer has been invaluable for last minute worksheets and calculations. Also for lesson planning: having it all stored digitally is far more convenient than on scraps of paper. So to lose it now will mean a great deal of data shuffling and time management.

I mean, it’s funny really. Last year I was stripped of my internet access and colour printing. This year it’s word processing from my desk. What can they possible rob me of next year? I know, that’s an exaggeration. Many ALTs get by without computers at all. Some have to walk five miles to the next village just to get a sheet of coloured paper. So please, for just five hundred yen a month… I’ll stop there.

The point is, I’m going to need to shape up my staffroom time to not include a screen. Just think about how relieved my eyes will be! Next year’s gonna be a big one for changes, it seems, as though any two years would be identical.

Didn’t get to go to graduation this year. It’s too bad, but it did fall on an elementary visit day, so it can’t be helped. I was glad to have my last fourth year class, but I would have liked to see the junior high schoolers off. Even the teachers at elementary seemed surprised that I was there. “Peter,” said one as I was leaving in the afternoon, “you didn’t go to your school’s graduation?” “No,” I replied, “I had work to do here.” “Oh…” he said, with an expression like he’d just eaten a very nice chicken dish that he later learned was the last dodo in the world. There’s always next year, and at least I got to see their rehearsal. It’s almost the same as the real thing, right?

That’s it from school. What else? Walking Dead’s still good. There’s a lot of gearing up for a big finale going on, which is better than doing nothing at all like last season but still a little dull. But it’s still well-written, and I’m looking forward to seeing how it ends. And Game of Thrones starts up again next month. That one’s a funny one; I already know that every character I care about is gonna suffer, and then meet some grisly end. I know it, Martin came out and said it. So watching the show is a bit like investing your hopes in a beautiful locomotive, when the conductor himself is telling you that the track runs it off a cliff before it reaches the city. But still… I just… wanna watch it! And I will hope that all the ones worth saving have some goodness in their lives before they are cut down like grass.

Still watching Buffy. Spike is so ace. And I’m impressed they changed the setting from high school to university without just making it like a bigger high school. And that’s really all I had to say about that.

Steph and I have been playing us some Lego Lord of the Rings lately. I have to say, though most of the jokes they pull are dumb and don’t make a lick of sense, this game has me cracking up more than most others. Even something as stupid as pointlessly riverdancing elves in Lothlorien. I think a lot of it comes from how they used actual soundbites from the film for the characters’ voices, and the best moments are when they repurpose a line like “Looks like meat’s back on the menu” for something else entirely. It’s clearly written as much for us adults as for kids, though it’s marketed as a kid’s game. Even the achievements we’ve been getting. Just yesterday, for getting through Cirith Ungul on foot, Steph unlocked an achievement for “simply walking into Mordor”, complete with a picture of Lego Boromir making a ring shape with his fingers. But aside from the humour, it really is an incredibly well-made game. Characters have gotten stuck mid-jump on more than one occasion, and the split screen takes some serious getting used to, but it plays well and looks even better. The prologue level, where you play Elrond and Isildur taking on Sauron, looks spectacular. Indeed, we watched the first film again the other night, and I was amazed by how the Lego team rebuilt some scenes brick by brick. It’s a real work of passion, this game, and that really shows. Just reached the Return of the King levels now, and we’re looking forward to the end.

It’s funny, ‘cos we’ve also been playing Lord of the Rings Online, and both games are very true to the original in different ways. Though it’s a little odd to have gotten used to the town of Bree in Online, with its wide roads, smiling populace and towering taverns, only to see the same town in Lego as the dark, rainy, tiny place it was in the film. One thing I’m very much looking forward to in Lego is getting access to the character creator once we’ve beaten the story, and recreating Glyde Renton, Bree-defender, in Lego form. It’s a simple thing, but that’s my pride as a citizen of Middle Earth for you.

Oh, yeah, DayZ isn’t working well. I had these big plans about making a survivor diary, like that last post I made, detailing my adventures in the Russian apocalypse. But it’s clear the game isn’t quite done yet. A while ago I fired my first ever crossbow bolt, and the game crashed. I’ve been afraid to go back. That was after I nearly got run over by survivors from China and their bus.

That’s it from me, I think. Not a whole lot else to say. No plans for Spring Break, what with Steph out of the country, so I’ll be entertaining myself as best I can. Oh, right, some more TV news. I’ve been watching a show called Hyouka lately, which aired last season. Same animation staff behind Haruhi and K-ON, one of which I liked and one of which I did not like. But Hyouka’s pretty cool, well thought-out and with genuinely likable characters. Maybe I’ll marathon that. And then there’s Robotics Notes which ends soon, and the ever-amazing Hetalia. But I’ll need something out of the house to keep me going, too, else I’ll just go stir-crazy.

Anyway, thanks for reading. 

Aside - All of us are lost (1)

I spent my first night sleeping on some scaffolding around an industrial chimney. Not the most comfortable of sleeping arrangements, I won't lie, but it kept them out. I later learnt that they can climb, but I slept in blissful ignorance that first night. No bullets, but enough food and water. 'Just stay out of the way', I told myself, 'and everything will be alright.'

I sometimes wonder if I'm going mad. Not even a day on the island, and going mad; whatever will become of me... But it's happening to all of us. From my point atop the chimney, I happened to see two survivors argue over a tent of medical supplies. They killed each other. And the others ate what was left. And I just sat and watched. No bullets to defend either of them, I tell myself. I think I was scared, though, in reality. Scared that they would turn on me. So I kept my head down, and am still alive to talk about it.

I barricaded myself in a corner shop later today. And it was well I did. Happened upon a rifle, the sort of caliber I'd never even seen before coming here. I've gotten quite good, took the heads off a couple of others that came through the barricade. Only takes the one shot. Clean and simple. I do hope this won't desensitise me; after that there'll be little left of my humanity.

Maybe it was that fear that forced me to call out to the man I saw from the top of the air control tower. He waved at me, seemed scared of the range on my weapon - he only had a small pistol. I waved back, after mustering up the courage. He tried to get across the airfield, but was lunged at by a whole crowd of the dead. I fired a shot, it went wild (I'm still working on that), but it was enough to draw them away. I think I heard a call of thanks as I began to carve a path through the herd, but the man was gone when I made my way off the airstrip. So were half my bullets. But I don't regret it. I can't. It's what's keeping me sane, I think.

Tonight I'm sleeping in an abandoned warehouse. Cold beans for dinner, washed down with a can of Cola I found lodged under a broken car engine. It's amazing what treasures you can find, if only you take the time to look. Still no bullets. I was sharing this place with a dead man earlier, a dead dead man. Real dead. I tried to give him the best burial I could, but a dumping in the ocean isn't much. I wished him well on his way to a better place as I pocketed his switchblade and binoculars.

The sunset really is beautiful. The hollers and screeches of the dead lessen that image a bit, but it's there. You just have to look. Tomorrow will be a new day. I will hold on to what I see.


(And I'm well enjoying DayZ. Send me a line if you play, maybe we could meet up!)